Sharing Queer Joy
What is queer joy? Queer Joy is found in the moments where we feel happy, embodied, and authentic in our gender identities and sexual orientations.
Why is it important? When we feel purpose and belonging in our Queer lives, it acts as resistance against discrimination which would aim to deny us this Joy.
In a time where it feels like the world is so dark it’s crucial for us to remember the light that we can find within our community.
One of my favourite quotes is from Lord of the Rings. Frodo says to Gandalf: “I wish none of this had ever happened”. Gandalf replies: “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us”.
We can decide that it is ok to feel scared and sad and angry during these times. And we can decide that it is also important to make space for joy. Leaving us to feel hopeless and defeated is the aim of discrimination, so refusal to sacrifice joy is honestly a radical act.
If you are struggling to find joy right now, please feel free to borrow some from one of the stories below. My thanks go out to everybody who shared their Joy with me. I am so honored by the amount of people who contributed – there will be a Part 2 to come! If you’d like to share your own experiences or photos in a post like this, please email me at cassidy@charlottepidegon.com
With care, Cassidy
Tanner’s Engagement
“Growing up gay, sometimes you have to make sacrifices or omissions to some of the goals and dreams other people get to have. I know I’m beyond lucky to get to enjoy this dream become a reality. Love is love.”
— Tanner
“There used to be a space in Truro, Nova Scotia, called Truro Brewing Co. It would host a lot of queer events, which is really special for rural Nova Scotia. They would bring in artists, musicians, performers, and other artistry for the community to be a part of. They even had something called the Queer Trading Grove, where people would trade bracelets, clothing, and other items. We would hang out there on our lunch breaks, after work and into the evening. They had an old TV with a bunch of films to watch so we would watch Legally Blonde or Beetlejuice on repeat. We’ve spent hours there just as Queer people enjoying each other’s company and the space around us. It really felt like the Central Perk Cafe from Friends. People would stop in, sit together and become fast friends.The level of Queer Joy that was in that space was something very profound. It honestly expanded past Queer Joy and was Queer community, connection and rebellion. It was incredibly healing for Queer people, especially in a rural space that had a history of homophobia/transphobia. Though the space closed, everyone’s smile, energy, and ability to express themselves continues to be cherished. I’ll never forget the energy that came as you walked in the door, a flood of comfort, almost as if we were finally home.”
Simone Dancing at Pride
“My Queer Joy is dancing in the Pride parade. As a straight-passing bi in a relationship with a man, I’ve been nervous to own my bisexuality and worried about how I would be perceived. It was really affirming for me to choose to participate in the parade, and then even more lovely to have my partner and friends come to give me support.”
— Simone
“When the world realized an A-List celebrity like Taylor Swift could actually be “not straight”. And it really showed how we often make assumptions about celebrities too. That idea that everyone is straight unless specified otherwise - regardless of any assumptions anyone makes about her sexuality, it was very cool to consider the possibility that someone I already love so much could maybe relate on another level too. It also made me hear her music differently, people were doing deep dives into her lyrics. Again, regardless of assumptions made about her lyrics, I think it really allowed me to hear the words differently and connect to them, or see that they are open to interpretation and not just a “straight narrative” given by assumption. There isn’t just one way to tell a story through a song. Also, seeing her genuine advocacy for LGBT rights/human equality. Not just a pride month speech. She has also been known to change pronouns in songs when she performs and again it just makes people feel seen. And I feel like it gives space and permission for people to feel part of the music and connect.”
Written By: Cassidy Connolly
